The Cross

I just wrote a short little paper on The Cross and I thought I'd share. It's something I've posted about on here before, but I've added some thoughts to it.

Isaiah 53 hits me really hard every time I read it. I changed the we’s to I’s and it really put it into perspective for me. Here are a couple of the verses.

“He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. I turned my back on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and I did not care. Yet it was my weaknesses he carried;
it was my sorrows that weighed him down. But he was pierced for my rebellion,
crushed for my sins.
He was beaten so I could be whole.
He was whipped so I could be healed. I, like a sheep, have strayed away.
I have left God’s paths to follow my own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all. Unjustly condemned, he was led away. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins.”

Christ loves me so much that He went through all of this just for me. Yes, His death was horrible and beyond anything I can even fathom. But I often forget, he endured pain his entire life. It wasn't just one day. It was an entire lifetime. I go through small trials and get down. I get sick for a few months and think my life is ending. I have had times when I thought God didn't like me because someone gave me a terrible terrible haircut and I got my eyebrow skin waxed off in the same month. Or He must not like me because I have to live in a cute little house alone for an entire... summer. But, I mean, really?? God's own perfect Son went through these same things. Well He didn't have to get his eyebrows waxed every single month. But, His trials were much worse, to say the least.

Why in the world should I think that I wouldn't go through any trials if Christ, God's own son, the only perfect being to ever live, suffered more than I can imagine? Like, if I think that little bit of wax ripping off my skin is painful, how much worse would a big leather strip with sharp objects in it ripping off my back be? And that wouldn't even be for my benefit (thinner eyebrows). 

So many times, I look at things totally wrong. I know I don't understand what is going on-- what God’s plan is. He's teaching me to just trust Him. But it's so hard. It's so hard to see the big picture when I'm focusing on myself and my happiness. Then I realize--the thing that's wrong with all of my thinking is the I's. It's not about me. It's about Christ... and then me after Him. He has it all under control. He knows what He's doing in order to advance His Kingdom. I just have to trust Him. I can't worry about it simply because I can do nothing to help the situation. Bad things happen, but Christ went through much worse and He is there for me to rely on and for me to talk to about it. I know what I am striving for, and Christ will get me there in His perfect timing.

Verse 11 of that passage says, “When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of his experience, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins.” What an awesome gift I have been given! I am counted righteous (that's a big deal!) because of Christ’s anguish and suffering on the Cross.

My prayer as I think about the Cross is that I wouldn’t forget this gift and how much it means to me. I am nothing of worth without the Cross. I hope that I will remember why I’m here—my life is not for me or my reputation or my enjoyment, but for Him and His glory.  I am overwhelmed by my Savior’s love for me. I almost can’t believe how much He suffered for me only because He loves me. I pray that I will be moved by His love each and every day to advance His kingdom. 

Anyone Want to Break Free?

Sunday I went to McKay's bookstore and found yet another book (or five) that I really wanted to buy. These books were used! They were cheap! So, I gave myself a break. I chose to buy only two books and the second season of the O.C.! (YES, I am actually watching it as I blog).

So anyways, I started one of my new books yesterday, Breaking Free by Beth Moore.

I have to tell you that I am so excited about it! I read 30 pages last night (yes, it was Friday night, and I did stay in to read and study; it was rainy!) and thoroughly enjoyed each and every page.

The entire theme of the book is to "Discover the Victory of Total Surrender." Beth Moore says that she has never written anything that means more to her than the message of this book. I am so excited about it because I don't think that I have ever experienced total surrender. But, oh how amazing that would be! To be completely and utterly free!

'A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for him or her.'

A way to see if we are being held captive is to see if we are enjoying five benefits that God wants His children to experience which are:

1. To know God and believe Him

2. To glorify God

3. To find satisfaction in God

4. To experience God's peace

5. To enjoy God's presence

Beth Moore reminds me that God intends for each of us to be able to enjoy these things every single day. He wants us to have these. He doesn't want it to just be during a period of our lives or just some days, maybe once a week? No, every single day we can believe God, glorify God, find satisfaction in Him, have peace, and enjoy His presence! These things aren't just a prize for a few elite believers. He wants us to be set free more than we even want it, because we can't even conceive what it's like, and He loves us that much!

He wants me and you to live and breathe each of these blessings!

I hope that you know how much Jesus Christ loves you and wants the best for you.

My prayer recently is that I would be able to understand that I don't do a thing to earn or take away from the love that Jesus Christ has for me; that I haven't done a thing for the righteousness that has been laid upon me through the sacrifice of God's Son; and that understanding these things would set me free that I might live an abundant life, a Spirit-filled life here on earth!

How awesome would that be!?

Want to Break Free with me? I'm not too far along in the book yet so if you want to pick up the book and read along with me, I'd love that! Let me know if you do! We can talk/e-mail/facebook chat about it.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Day...

Waking up early.

Laying around.

Opening presents.

Blog reading.

Laughing.

Lots of text messaging.

Scrambling eggs.

Country ham cooking in Coca-Cola.

Drinking Coca-Cola before breakfast.

Eating chocolate before breakfast.

Playing with little cousins.

Orange juicing.

Laughing.

Wearing clothes with tags on it.

Being uncomfortable because of too much tag-wearing.

Setting the table.

Trying out clothes.

Smelling Mom's feast.

Interesting discussions.

Enjoying Padre's fire.

Relishing in oranges.

Chopping.

Feasting.

Reminiscing.

Watching home videos.

Laughing.

Shooting pictures.

Driving tractors.

Sharing stories.

Laughing.

A long list of things we did.

Ultimately, we did nothing. That's what Christmas Day is about.

The Busy, Joyful, Peaceful, and Merry Christmas Season

It's officially Christmas break, as of last Friday. That means relaxing, being calm, having nothing to do... You know, just being home!

But, this year my break isn't like that at all.

It begun Friday when I came home and went straight to a retreat on Waiting on God's Best at Steph's house.

It was incredible! I had Sunday and today (Monday) to lay low and unpack from school and repack for New York and Florida. I am leaving tomorrow to go to NYC until Saturday, when I will return and go straight from the airport to Florida. I will be home on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and then will go to Auburn to visit my grandmother there. I'll be home the 28th, having a New Years celebration, and then going to the Passion conference January 2nd-5th. I will hopefully be home to relax for a while, then celebrate my 21st birthday on the 11th, and classes will begin the 13th.

So pretty much I will have 12 days at home during my 33 day break. This will be interesting. Will I get any rest? Possibly. Will I have fun? Definitely.

I'm leaving early in the morning for the NYC. Don't worry--I'll post again to let you know how it's going.

Let me tell you about the conference this past weekend. It was just so good that I want to share with you a few points that I learned in general.

1. If God gave his only Son to die for us, will he not give us blessings here on Earth, too? There will be hard times, everything won't be easy, but He does want to bless us. He loves when we have good times. But he also wants us to grow and learn to depend on Him.

2. Is it worth it? Is it worth suffering? Is it worth the emotions? Confusion? Sacrifice? YES, Jesus Christ is worth it! He is so worth every little thing I could suffer through because He suffered sooo much more than I ever will and He loves me so much.

3. Straight from Steph: Don't you dare follow your hearts, girls. Follow God's Word. Our hearts can get us in BIG trouble. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

4. Jesus Christ has the power to, at the perfect time, cause the wind and waves of our lives to be still. These seasons of life are so precious as God teaches us and gives us so many riches during the storms. It is so hard but we need not take these opportunities for granted and ask God to use them to produce lasting fruit. We have to be more concerned with God's glory than our relief.

These are amazing truths that I had the opportunity to learn and experience this past weekend. I learned a lot of other things, but I will save those for a later date.

For now, I'm off to finish packing! Any suggestions for New York?

Rescued from Darkness and Brought into the Kingdom

The thing that I am thankful for today has made my day a good one. I thought about it right when I woke up at 6AM today and my day has been different than recent days because of it. If only I truly understood this each and every single day, I would experience a joy that could not be shaken.

I read a great blog post from Steph last night, then I printed it off because I knew I needed to be reminded over and over, and I read it again as I was getting ready this morning.

The end of her post says:

If you have nothing else to be thankful for, be thankful that, if you know Christ, you have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of the Son who God loves, in whom you have redemption!

So, all the mornings I wake up in a bad mood. The days that I feel sorry for myself because I have bad grades. The times that I think about how bad my year has been. The times last year when I thought that nothing could get worse and it did. The weeks that I spent complaining about my joints hurting.

Well, for all those times, WHAT was I thinking?

I have been rescued from the darkness. Jesus died for me. God loves me enough to let His Son die. The Holy Spirit speaks to me even today. What could be better?

If during those days of darkness, hopelessness, battling of the mind, tension, illness... If those days bring me closer to Him, bring 'em on.

I saw a quote in my journal, and I don't know where it's from, but I don't think I made it up, and it says, "everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus." (I think it's a paraphrase of Phil 3:8)

The things that I think count so much [grades, surface relationships, stress, clothes, my well-being, future jobs] aren't worth even a smidgen compared to knowing Jesus. And I think in my life, God has had to take some of those things away from me, and it's been painful, but I think that I'll look back and be thankful for a few miserable college semesters, because in the long run, that misery will make a bigger difference in my life than having a few fun-filled, care-free college semesters would have made.

And I'd rather have that. I'd rather suffer and really know Jesus.

So, last night I prayed that the Lord would do whatever He wanted to in my life, whether it was in the "plan" or not, just as long as it brings me closer to him. And, that was a scary thing to do.

I woke up at 1:20 and was lying in bed, and got a phone call which I thought was my alarm clock going off so I grabbed my phone and clicked the button which answered the private number, and so then I had to say hello. The person on the other line said, "Dis Mel?" I tried to sound awake and replied, "Yes." The man just breathed in the phone for a few long seconds and then hung up.

I'm not sure if I was being ridiculous, but I got really scared as I was lying in bed. Immediately, I thought, God do you have a stalker in mind to draw me nearer to You? Because, I really wasn't thinking you'd take me seriously so quickly, and please, not a stalker. Please God.

I started praying to God that I wouldn't see a shadow in my window (big imagination + middle of the night) and that I could go back to sleep.

But I started thinking, what a blessing it is that I have GOD on my side! Yeah, we have the God who made this entire universe taking care of us. Everything won't be easy and safe, but it will be good and we will thrive with Him, no matter the circumstance.

Because I have been rescued from that dreary, dark night (literally and figuratively) and brought into the brilliant daylight, and it's nothing I did. I was able to wake up refreshed. And let me tell you, that wasn't my doing. I used to not be able to sleep in my 2nd story bedroom alone because there was a window behind my headboard.



That's something to be thankful for. Be joyful. As a believer, you have the most amazing gift and blessing that you could ever imagine.

Those little things from past days, yeah I'm thankful for them, but this thing, this being rescued by the God of everything- it's everlasting, forever, mind-boggling, life-changing- it is the only thing that will ever satisfy me and you.

And the word thankful, well it really can't describe my appreciation for it.

Thank Him, praise Him, honor Him, sing about Him, rave about Him, adore Him, and love Him, because even if nothing else appears 'good' in your life, you have been rescued from darkness forever, and can now experience the Kingdom of God-- and that is AWESOME.

Half-Heartedness.

I have missed you, dear blog of mine! I think about you all the time. I consider what my next post is going to be about as I sit in class. I dream about who is going to comment on my entries.

Is it bad that I am considering skipping finance class, (yes, the same class that I got a 56 on my last exam) just to blog?

Update: I was on Fall break last week, where this picture was taken in Florida on the lake. My life has been crazy as of late. And the thing is, I can't figure out why or what has made it crazy.

I feel like I have a pretty normal college life, not too many activities, yet I feel like everything I'm doing, I'm doing half-heartedly. And half-heartedly doesn't make me happy. I've been going to classes sometimes, blogging, homeworking, studying, reading, quiet times, conversations- all with half of my attention. And my other attention, well I'm not quite sure where it's going.

My current thinking, though, is that I'd rather do nothing than do all of these things with half of me there, and half of me floating in Mel-land.

So yesterday I sat down and was reading John 4 because I thought that I should keep the story fresh in my mind because my small group and I are memorizing is John 4:28-29.

Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,"Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?"

It seemed to me like kind of a strange verse to memorize. But, the catch is.... there is so much more to it than it seems, and that's what I learned when I sat down to read the entire story and think about it.

This was the first time in a while that I had put everything into reading my bible. And guess what? I got so much out of it. I think that's how stuff works, you have to put a lot into it to get a lot out of it.

The thing that I realized is that this woman left her water jar. To me, that represented the things that she got caught up in, the things she might be worrying about, the things that were causing her to lose sleep at night.

And, right now, I can totally relate to this woman. I have to leave my troubles behind with Jesus and go tell people about Christ.

I can't get caught up in this busy world. I can't allow the busyness to effect my relationship with Christ and the way I view this world. I can't put my hope in my grades, my relationships, my parents, my roommates, my friends or my sisters, my location, or the weather.

I have to make time for what really matters. Jesus has given me the freedom to just get to love Him and everyone else. And that's it, that's all that matters. He doesn't care about those other things that I'm caught up in.

Everything that seems like it matters, well it does not matter. And everything that doesn't seem so important to the world, that's what matters.

Backing up a little bit, before she leaves her water jar at the well, she and Jesus are talking. She says that she knows the Messiah is coming and that He will explain everything to them.

And the reply that she gets?

"I who speak to you am He." From JESUS.

How awesome is that? She's just sitting at the well and the MESSIAH comes and talks to her. I am trying to imagine how she would have felt, and it makes me excited to even think about it.

And guess what? We can talk to the Messiah every single day. And He cares enough to come find us where we are, whether we're at a well or in the library. And even better, we can leave our jars with Him.

That's it. The woman didn't do anything that was that hard. Not nearly as hard as I make it in my mind. She wanted to tell people about Jesus. She willingly left her trouble with Jesus. And I wonder what joy she experienced because of that.

So, this is my hope and prayer: that you and I will both leave our headache of the moment in God's hands; that we will forget these light and momentary troubles; and that we can rest in knowing that the answer is Love; and that you and I will find joy in talking to the Maker of these beautiful autumn colors.

Let's Put Things into Perspective

This is something that I wrote a few months ago and that I just remembered about and I just wanted to post it tonight for some reason. Isaiah 53 hit me hard one day and here, I copied it but changed the we's to I's because that's just how I like it.

3 He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
I turned my back on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and I did not care.

⁴ Yet it was my weaknesses he carried;
it was my sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
⁵ But he was pierced for my rebellion,
crushed for my sins.
He was beaten so I could be whole.
He was whipped so I could be healed.
⁶ I, like sheep, have strayed away.
I have left God’s paths to follow my own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and treated harshly,
yet he never said a word.
He was led like a lamb to the slaughter.

⁸ Unjustly condemned,
he was led away.
No one cared that he died without descendants,
that his life was cut short in midstream.
¹¹ When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish,
he will be satisfied.
And because of his experience,
my righteous servant will make it possible
for many to be counted righteous,
for he will bear all their sins.

Christ loves me so much that He went through all of this just for me. Yes, His death was horrible and beyond anything I can even fathom. But I often forget, he endured pain his entire life. It wasn't just one day. It was an entire lifetime. I go through small trials and get down. I get sick for a few months and think my life is ending. I think God doesn't like me because I accidentally get a terrible terrible haircut and get my eyebrow skin waxed off in the same month... But, I mean, really??

God's own perfect Son went through these same things. Well, okay, He probably didn't have to get his eyebrows waxed every single month. But, His trials were much worse, to say the least.

Why in the world should I think that I wouldn't go through any trials if Christ, God's own son, the only perfect being to ever live, suffered more than I can imagine? Like, if I think that little bit of wax ripping off my skin is painful, how much worse would a big leather strip with sharp objects in it ripping off my back skin be? And that wouldn't even be for my benefit (thinner eyebrows). 

So many times, I look at things totally wrong. I know I don't understand what is going on-- what His plan is. He's teaching me to just trust Him. But it's so hard. It's so hard to see the big picture... When I'm focusing on myself, looking at things in the complete wrong light. When, sometimes, I just don't want to get out of bed. When bad things keep happening to me, one after the other. When I know where I need to be, but I don't know how to get there.

Then I realize, the thing wrong with all of my thinking is the I's. It's not about me. It's about Christ and me. He has it all under control. I just have to trust Him. I can't worry about it simply because I can do nothing to help the situation. I want to stay in bed, but Christ can give me something to look forward to each day. Bad things happen to me, but Christ went through much worse and He is there for me to rely on and for me to talk to about it. I know where I need to be, and Christ will get me there in His perfect timing.

My prayer is that I will be reminded of all of this throughout my week at Recruitment. That I will remember why I'm living. I'm here not for me or my sorority or my reputation, but for Him and His glory. And the awesome thing about it is, I don't have to do it on my own. He is there holding my hand. And when I go through hard days, I can go curl up in His lap because He, of all people, well, maybe people isn't the best word there, but He does understand.