The Busy, Joyful, Peaceful, and Merry Christmas Season

It's officially Christmas break, as of last Friday. That means relaxing, being calm, having nothing to do... You know, just being home!

But, this year my break isn't like that at all.

It begun Friday when I came home and went straight to a retreat on Waiting on God's Best at Steph's house.

It was incredible! I had Sunday and today (Monday) to lay low and unpack from school and repack for New York and Florida. I am leaving tomorrow to go to NYC until Saturday, when I will return and go straight from the airport to Florida. I will be home on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and then will go to Auburn to visit my grandmother there. I'll be home the 28th, having a New Years celebration, and then going to the Passion conference January 2nd-5th. I will hopefully be home to relax for a while, then celebrate my 21st birthday on the 11th, and classes will begin the 13th.

So pretty much I will have 12 days at home during my 33 day break. This will be interesting. Will I get any rest? Possibly. Will I have fun? Definitely.

I'm leaving early in the morning for the NYC. Don't worry--I'll post again to let you know how it's going.

Let me tell you about the conference this past weekend. It was just so good that I want to share with you a few points that I learned in general.

1. If God gave his only Son to die for us, will he not give us blessings here on Earth, too? There will be hard times, everything won't be easy, but He does want to bless us. He loves when we have good times. But he also wants us to grow and learn to depend on Him.

2. Is it worth it? Is it worth suffering? Is it worth the emotions? Confusion? Sacrifice? YES, Jesus Christ is worth it! He is so worth every little thing I could suffer through because He suffered sooo much more than I ever will and He loves me so much.

3. Straight from Steph: Don't you dare follow your hearts, girls. Follow God's Word. Our hearts can get us in BIG trouble. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9

4. Jesus Christ has the power to, at the perfect time, cause the wind and waves of our lives to be still. These seasons of life are so precious as God teaches us and gives us so many riches during the storms. It is so hard but we need not take these opportunities for granted and ask God to use them to produce lasting fruit. We have to be more concerned with God's glory than our relief.

These are amazing truths that I had the opportunity to learn and experience this past weekend. I learned a lot of other things, but I will save those for a later date.

For now, I'm off to finish packing! Any suggestions for New York?

Rescued from Darkness and Brought into the Kingdom

The thing that I am thankful for today has made my day a good one. I thought about it right when I woke up at 6AM today and my day has been different than recent days because of it. If only I truly understood this each and every single day, I would experience a joy that could not be shaken.

I read a great blog post from Steph last night, then I printed it off because I knew I needed to be reminded over and over, and I read it again as I was getting ready this morning.

The end of her post says:

If you have nothing else to be thankful for, be thankful that, if you know Christ, you have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of the Son who God loves, in whom you have redemption!

So, all the mornings I wake up in a bad mood. The days that I feel sorry for myself because I have bad grades. The times that I think about how bad my year has been. The times last year when I thought that nothing could get worse and it did. The weeks that I spent complaining about my joints hurting.

Well, for all those times, WHAT was I thinking?

I have been rescued from the darkness. Jesus died for me. God loves me enough to let His Son die. The Holy Spirit speaks to me even today. What could be better?

If during those days of darkness, hopelessness, battling of the mind, tension, illness... If those days bring me closer to Him, bring 'em on.

I saw a quote in my journal, and I don't know where it's from, but I don't think I made it up, and it says, "everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus." (I think it's a paraphrase of Phil 3:8)

The things that I think count so much [grades, surface relationships, stress, clothes, my well-being, future jobs] aren't worth even a smidgen compared to knowing Jesus. And I think in my life, God has had to take some of those things away from me, and it's been painful, but I think that I'll look back and be thankful for a few miserable college semesters, because in the long run, that misery will make a bigger difference in my life than having a few fun-filled, care-free college semesters would have made.

And I'd rather have that. I'd rather suffer and really know Jesus.

So, last night I prayed that the Lord would do whatever He wanted to in my life, whether it was in the "plan" or not, just as long as it brings me closer to him. And, that was a scary thing to do.

I woke up at 1:20 and was lying in bed, and got a phone call which I thought was my alarm clock going off so I grabbed my phone and clicked the button which answered the private number, and so then I had to say hello. The person on the other line said, "Dis Mel?" I tried to sound awake and replied, "Yes." The man just breathed in the phone for a few long seconds and then hung up.

I'm not sure if I was being ridiculous, but I got really scared as I was lying in bed. Immediately, I thought, God do you have a stalker in mind to draw me nearer to You? Because, I really wasn't thinking you'd take me seriously so quickly, and please, not a stalker. Please God.

I started praying to God that I wouldn't see a shadow in my window (big imagination + middle of the night) and that I could go back to sleep.

But I started thinking, what a blessing it is that I have GOD on my side! Yeah, we have the God who made this entire universe taking care of us. Everything won't be easy and safe, but it will be good and we will thrive with Him, no matter the circumstance.

Because I have been rescued from that dreary, dark night (literally and figuratively) and brought into the brilliant daylight, and it's nothing I did. I was able to wake up refreshed. And let me tell you, that wasn't my doing. I used to not be able to sleep in my 2nd story bedroom alone because there was a window behind my headboard.



That's something to be thankful for. Be joyful. As a believer, you have the most amazing gift and blessing that you could ever imagine.

Those little things from past days, yeah I'm thankful for them, but this thing, this being rescued by the God of everything- it's everlasting, forever, mind-boggling, life-changing- it is the only thing that will ever satisfy me and you.

And the word thankful, well it really can't describe my appreciation for it.

Thank Him, praise Him, honor Him, sing about Him, rave about Him, adore Him, and love Him, because even if nothing else appears 'good' in your life, you have been rescued from darkness forever, and can now experience the Kingdom of God-- and that is AWESOME.

Eventful and Exciting

So it's been a while since I've been on here. For having no plans and no job this summer, I've had a very busy last few weeks. I went to Auburn and Lake Martin a couple of weekends ago where I had so much fun with John, Rosson, Blake, Merd and the Maidens. I think I busted my eardrum jumping off a high cliff thing so that has been my ailment of the week. Then Gnat, Beal, Mims and Gav came in town and we really enjoyed catching up. We picked out material for curtains for our apartment which I am pumped about. Then, I stayed busy last week with Granddaddy sitting, painting, and chores.

A couple of days ago, I read a verse--

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

The verse really stuck with me for the next few days. I really considered what the verse meant in my life. There are plenty of times when I get so worked up and concerned that I literally feel sick to my stomach.

I went to White Water on Friday where I was scared of just about everything because most of the time I have the mentality that something bad is going to happen and it will most definitely involve me as the main character (kind of like the ear thing). But I remembered the verse that I had read the night before. I cannot think that bad things are always going to happen. Living with anxiety is simply not living. I have to trust that God's plan is perfect and that his commands are always best. To have fun with the Suddaths and my cousins at White Water, I had to stop worrying. 

We left the park late so we didn't get home till about 7 and we were having a party that night at my house at about 7:30. I still had to take a shower and cook. But I remembered on the 2 hour trip back- "Do not let your hearts be troubled." And hey, that was so much easier. It turned out fine because there was nothing worrying could do.

And yesterday, the Fourth. Well it was an eventful, exciting day. And honestly, eventful and exciting are not two of my favorite words. I just want normal for a while. But, God has other plans for my days. First off, I started making jello by boiling water on the stove top. Then I proceeded to go to the pool for a while then to my aunt's. Two hours later I remembered the boiling water on the stove and I ordered Mary to sprint down to my house as I pictured my kitchen in flames and the firefighters not being able to put out the fire. I borrowed my aunt's car and drove down here praying to get home to a house that was not on fire. I was so relieved to find my house with only a black pot on the stovetop.

I thanked God for sparing me the huge burden of having burned my house down (and also losing all of my favorite clothes).

The family Fourth of July picnic was in the evening. We were all eating and having a good time. There were about 150 people at my aunt's house next door from around the neighborhood. I was standing in the yard when a man came running up and said, "Big Bill just collapsed." That's my dad. 

I was standing next to Garren and he ran down the hill to find Dad but I just stood still and started to cry, not knowing what else to do. My mom came sprinting across the field with her shoes in her hands and then the doctors, first responders and policemen who were at the party ran down there. They wouldn't let us go down there, so pretty much I was just freaking out because I'm not calm in emergency situations. 

My cousins and I got in a circle and prayed. An ambulance came but Dad had woken up and refused to get in it. I was worried sick. Literally.

And then I remembered the verse. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in me."

Troubled. That means disturbed, upset, worried. That was exactly what I was. I could barely carry on a conversation because I was so consumed with the circumstances, but really, God is so much more powerful than I. He could allow my dad to be fine or to be hurt. And God is all knowing. He knows what I can handle and He knows what will make me stronger. He wouldn't allow anything to happen that is not good for my character.

God loves my dad so much and he loves me and my family so much. He's not going to let anything happen that is not the best thing. I just have to trust Him. 

Trusting in Him means obeying his commands. He commands me not to let my heart be troubled. So that is what I will do. This command, for me, is one of the most liberating ones in the bible. I shouldn't be upset, uneasy, or distressed because Someone has it all under control and that's not me. 

And that is probably the best thing I have heard in a really long time.

My dad stayed at home last night after the  incident and he ended up being fine. I was no longer troubled and went right to sleep, forgetting that my windows and sunroof were down. I woke up this morning to some much needed rain for the garden and grass and some soaking wet leather seats in my car. But hey, it's just a car. I won't be troubled over that. 

I'm more like ants than I ever realized

It is 4:19 AM as I begin this post. That means it's 4 in the morning for those of you who get your AM and PM mixed up... I know you're out there. But, my computer says the AM/PM thing by the time, so that's how I know for sure I'm not wrong about this.

Anyhow, I must tell you, the reason I am awake is because my bedroom does not have air conditioning and I woke up feeling like it was about 108 degrees in here. I tried to go back to sleep--this was at about 3:15 when I originally woke up--but obviously, it didn't really work out for me. I went and got some water, my mom woke up, so I talked to her for a while, and then came back to bed and still didn't sleep, so about an hour later, I'm writing a blog post in my sweltering hot room. But that's okay because blogging helps everything, doesn't it? And plus, I know that God has me awake blogging for a reason, right?

As I have laid in bed, I started thinking about lots of things. I have had a crazy week/end to say the least. I have experienced many mixed emotions and I really don't know how I feel about my life as a whole. One day, it seemed to all be going very well as planned and the next it seemed to be falling apart.

I have dealt with my rollercoaster life this year in many ways. And I have seen that only one way works. I can't handle my problems. I can't handle my life. I can't handle anything, well without the help of my Creator, the all powerful One.

So, I'm learning (yes, still learning) that I can't question God as to why He lets really weird things happen in my life. I can't question why it all happens at once, why I can't sleep, why my problems seem to have no solution, or why I always seem to hurt my right little toe by hitting it on a certain chair as I walk past and it just makes me so mad.

God knows why, and I have no right to question his reasons because He is sovereign. He is so huge. He knows so much more than I do about myself, my life, the world, and other people surrounding me. For me to even think I deserve to know even a tad bit of the why's in my life would be arrogant of me. That would mean that I think I am so much smarter that I am bcause the Lord is huge and I cannot even grasp a fourth of his character and being--I can't understand what eternity is, what Holiness is like, or what perfect love truly is--so there is no way that I have a right to understand or that I should even be able understand why God is letting certain things happen in my life, and I certainly have no right to question Him.

This is comforting because I can know that He does have it under control when I feel it is spinning out of control.

It is comforting to remember that through tough situations the Lord is molding us, and that is what we can cling to during those times. Everything He does is for mine and your good, for those of us who love Him. Trials develop our character and our understanding of others, and increase our humility. And the Lord knows that I need stronger character, understanding and humility.

He must want us to have these things for a future endeavor that He understands and that we have no idea about. That is why I say that we can't understand even one-fourth of Him--because He knows the future. How comforting that is! The One who knows the future is making my plans.

He loves us more than we can imagine, and He doesn't like to see us suffering. But He can also see the big picture. And in that big picture, these things that seem so big in my life now will look like tiny little ants.


Have you ever watched ants? They carry those pieces of food that are huge to them. The food can be like twice the size of them or maybe bigger (I'm not really an ant expert), and it looks so difficult to carry, and it probably is. I could easily pick up the (to me, tiny) piece of food for the ant and put it at its home so that it never had to leave it's dirt recliner in its living log, but that would not be beneficial for the ant if I did that for him for its entire life. He would have nothing to do and would probably soon die because of being out of shape. Ants thrive on their structured lives and plans, and when I come and take out the hard work and challenges in their lives, they would quickly die because if there is no reason for them to get out to get their food, they will quickly be out of shape and will die from obesity or from being weak against a predator, or even against another ant who wants the same food I have given it and my little ant can no longer defend its food.

"You lazy fool, look at an ant.
Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two."
Proverbs 6:6
(The Message)

My point being: God could easily give us what we want, when we want. To Him, that is nothing; that is easy. But, oh how we would be missing out on so much, on growing and thriving. And when we look back we'd wish that we could have grown back then so we could benefit from it later. Through the big picture God sees what we need, and trials are not a punishment--they are something that we need to experience to become the person that He wants us to become.

(I know this ant illustration was so random, but it just suddenly came to me so I went with it.)

Next time I see those ants covering the mailbox or trailing down the kitchen counter, I think I'm going to be a little less annoyed with them and feel a little bit more sympathy because now that I realize it, I'm a lot more like those ants that I ever realized.