What's so good about Good Friday?

Well, Good Friday is almost over (we have 5 minutes left of it, as of now, which is the beginning of the post), but I just had a few thoughts today that I wanted to share with you.

First off, I've always thought it was strange that we call this day Good Friday because it is the day that wicked people killed Jesus Christ, the most loving man to ever live. What could be good about that?

Well, I've probably had this epiphany before, but I had this epiphany today about why it's called Good Friday and especially how it applies to my life.

Jesus' apostles probably weren't thinking, as they were watching their Savior being mocked, hanging on a cross, that there was anything good about this situation. They were probably thinking, "What's going on? This is totally wrong. Something's gotta happen soon. I know He can get off that cross if He wants to. Come on, Jesus, our hope is in You, and You're just letting people treat you like this." Oh, how it probably hurt their hearts to watch Him suffer like that.

I think about even watching a friend suffer through something hard, and how hard that is--but to watch a man who has never done a thing wrong to anyone, who only loves everyone, and who is the best friend one could have--to watch Him crucified like that, it must have been painful.

But anyways, back to the good part of the day. It was good because Jesus died on that day, and if it hadn't had happened, I would be going to hell for eternity. He saved my life that day. That's probably not what His apostles were thinking that day. They were probably thinking that there is no way this pain is not worth it, no way.

From God's perspective, with all the love in His heart for us, it was worth it. Jesus thought that having me with Him for eternity was worth the suffering. And how thankful I am that He thought that!

So, where this hit me hard today was when I was thinking, what's going on in my life that I can't imagine truly being good? What are the things that I try to tell myself, 'yes, it's good,' but really I'm thinking, no way in heck can this be good? That's what those apostles were thinking, and Good Friday (plus Easter) was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

These trials that I go through.... Well, they're good! From my perspective right now, I'm not sure why they're good, but that's okay. I just know that they're good and there will mostly likely be a time when I look back and see the benefits of these trials. And even if I don't look back and see the exact reason I went through it, I will trust my loving Father that He knows best, and that He puts me right where He wants me to be, just the way He put His Son right where He wanted Him to be on that cross on Good Friday, to save my life.

I have so much to praise Jesus for--a new life in Him! Happy Easter y'all!

The Great Workout

Okay, so my blog is a place of honesty. I have been honest with you about my boy obsessions, the worst day of my life, and random awkward moments. And once again I am going to be honest with you.

I honestly hate working out. I know people say they love running or working out, but I just don't see how they can like it, nonetheless love it. So, I'm going to be one of the first people to ever be honest about it. I hate it.

Well, this whole thing started on Monday with me reading an article in Health, the magazine. The magazine gave me ten reasons to exercise. I can't exactly remember all of them, but the most enticing reasons (and the only ones I can remember) were 1. it improves your memory, and 2. it makes you physically feel better.

I absolutely cannot remember a thing. My memory is so bad that I have thought to myself at times that I could be developing early dementia. But that rant is for another time. At any rate, having a better memory was very enticing. Any secondly, exercise makes you feel better, and heaven knows I could use some of that since I get bone aches from just walking to class.

This whole memory gain plus feeling better, well it sounded pretty good. I decided I would exercise. I mean, I know I've always disliked it (dislike, as in absolutely despised it), but you know, maybe since it's 2010 now, I would discover a new and exciting love for it.

The thing is, I have always thought I'd rather just eat nothing instead of exercise if it came down to it. I've read about all of the good things. I've had my friends tell me how running makes them feel better. And I know that building muscle helps burn more calories. Seriously, I know a lot about exercise... from magazines, not from experience.

That never changes anything. All of these great things, but still, Mel has never budged on this one. Been there, done that, hated it. Like, people don't even ask if I'd like to exercise with them because they know the answer.

Okay, so back to my new memory plan: I sent a text to cousin Mol and sister Mars and asked if they wanted to work out during a break that we all had on Wednesday.

They agreed. Wednesday rolls around. I begin thinking of reasons to not go. I didn't get much sleep last night. Wait, the article said that exercise is good for waking you up or something. Ok, well it's really rainy and cloudy and umm, I can't... Hmm, there's no reason there. Ok, well I just don't feel good. Dang, that article! It covered every excuse. I'll just go do it. It will be fun.

So off to the gym I go. We did the eliptical thing first. I got a good 15 minutes in and moved to the bike thinking it'd be a nice break, you know, sitting down. Ahhh, I couldn't have been more wrong. 5 minutes on that thing and I was outta there. I kept giving Mary looks behind me and mouthing, "This is terrrrible!"

We moved to weights. The weights weren't too bad at first. I only complained to Mars that it was absolutely miserable and I hated it about three times. We did inner legs, outer legs, sides... Lots of things, and then we were finished about an hour later.

Most people say they feel good after they exercise. I didn't feel any different. But I knew the next day would be miserable.

The next day was miserable.

I awakened to a stiff body. Sore sides, couldn't cross my legs for the pain. It wasn't too fun. Not horrific, but not comfortable by any means.

And then the next morning rolls around, two days after the Great Workout.

Pain. Agony. Suffering. Okay, maybe not that bad. But I kept waking up all morning because my legs hurt when I moved them. I had to lie straight... Flat on my back, legs completely straight, no moving. As I was laying there, the thought came to mind: I'm going to fall to the ground when I get out of bed! What am I going to do?

I waited a while and slowly got out of bed away from the bedside table, clinging to my bed as an aid. I didn't fall down! But I went straight to the bath because that was the only thing I could think to do.

Surprising to me, I have made it through this day so far, slowly, but I'm making it! Mars says I need to exercise again soon. The thought makes me want to cry. But I know I need to do it. My memory has already failed me multiple times today, and Gav has agreed that she thinks I could be getting the early signs of dementia:

I didn't even recognize a guy who I spent all day with on Monday. He talked to me, but I think he recognized the blank stare on my face as I ran through my memory trying to figure out who he was--you would think I would be a pro at faking knowing people because I can never seem remember people. But anyways, then I came in from class, asked Gav where Nat is and she laughed because she had told me about 17 times that she has initiation, then I searched for my phone which was in my hand. All in a 10 minute period.

So I guess I will be working out on Monday. Well, possibly. I think Mars is going to make me do it.

Oh dear, the Great Workout. How long do you think this will last?

Rescued from Darkness and Brought into the Kingdom

The thing that I am thankful for today has made my day a good one. I thought about it right when I woke up at 6AM today and my day has been different than recent days because of it. If only I truly understood this each and every single day, I would experience a joy that could not be shaken.

I read a great blog post from Steph last night, then I printed it off because I knew I needed to be reminded over and over, and I read it again as I was getting ready this morning.

The end of her post says:

If you have nothing else to be thankful for, be thankful that, if you know Christ, you have been rescued from the dominion of darkness and brought into the Kingdom of the Son who God loves, in whom you have redemption!

So, all the mornings I wake up in a bad mood. The days that I feel sorry for myself because I have bad grades. The times that I think about how bad my year has been. The times last year when I thought that nothing could get worse and it did. The weeks that I spent complaining about my joints hurting.

Well, for all those times, WHAT was I thinking?

I have been rescued from the darkness. Jesus died for me. God loves me enough to let His Son die. The Holy Spirit speaks to me even today. What could be better?

If during those days of darkness, hopelessness, battling of the mind, tension, illness... If those days bring me closer to Him, bring 'em on.

I saw a quote in my journal, and I don't know where it's from, but I don't think I made it up, and it says, "everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus." (I think it's a paraphrase of Phil 3:8)

The things that I think count so much [grades, surface relationships, stress, clothes, my well-being, future jobs] aren't worth even a smidgen compared to knowing Jesus. And I think in my life, God has had to take some of those things away from me, and it's been painful, but I think that I'll look back and be thankful for a few miserable college semesters, because in the long run, that misery will make a bigger difference in my life than having a few fun-filled, care-free college semesters would have made.

And I'd rather have that. I'd rather suffer and really know Jesus.

So, last night I prayed that the Lord would do whatever He wanted to in my life, whether it was in the "plan" or not, just as long as it brings me closer to him. And, that was a scary thing to do.

I woke up at 1:20 and was lying in bed, and got a phone call which I thought was my alarm clock going off so I grabbed my phone and clicked the button which answered the private number, and so then I had to say hello. The person on the other line said, "Dis Mel?" I tried to sound awake and replied, "Yes." The man just breathed in the phone for a few long seconds and then hung up.

I'm not sure if I was being ridiculous, but I got really scared as I was lying in bed. Immediately, I thought, God do you have a stalker in mind to draw me nearer to You? Because, I really wasn't thinking you'd take me seriously so quickly, and please, not a stalker. Please God.

I started praying to God that I wouldn't see a shadow in my window (big imagination + middle of the night) and that I could go back to sleep.

But I started thinking, what a blessing it is that I have GOD on my side! Yeah, we have the God who made this entire universe taking care of us. Everything won't be easy and safe, but it will be good and we will thrive with Him, no matter the circumstance.

Because I have been rescued from that dreary, dark night (literally and figuratively) and brought into the brilliant daylight, and it's nothing I did. I was able to wake up refreshed. And let me tell you, that wasn't my doing. I used to not be able to sleep in my 2nd story bedroom alone because there was a window behind my headboard.



That's something to be thankful for. Be joyful. As a believer, you have the most amazing gift and blessing that you could ever imagine.

Those little things from past days, yeah I'm thankful for them, but this thing, this being rescued by the God of everything- it's everlasting, forever, mind-boggling, life-changing- it is the only thing that will ever satisfy me and you.

And the word thankful, well it really can't describe my appreciation for it.

Thank Him, praise Him, honor Him, sing about Him, rave about Him, adore Him, and love Him, because even if nothing else appears 'good' in your life, you have been rescued from darkness forever, and can now experience the Kingdom of God-- and that is AWESOME.

Let's Put Things into Perspective

This is something that I wrote a few months ago and that I just remembered about and I just wanted to post it tonight for some reason. Isaiah 53 hit me hard one day and here, I copied it but changed the we's to I's because that's just how I like it.

3 He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
I turned my back on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and I did not care.

⁴ Yet it was my weaknesses he carried;
it was my sorrows that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
⁵ But he was pierced for my rebellion,
crushed for my sins.
He was beaten so I could be whole.
He was whipped so I could be healed.
⁶ I, like sheep, have strayed away.
I have left God’s paths to follow my own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all.

⁷ He was oppressed and treated harshly,
yet he never said a word.
He was led like a lamb to the slaughter.

⁸ Unjustly condemned,
he was led away.
No one cared that he died without descendants,
that his life was cut short in midstream.
¹¹ When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish,
he will be satisfied.
And because of his experience,
my righteous servant will make it possible
for many to be counted righteous,
for he will bear all their sins.

Christ loves me so much that He went through all of this just for me. Yes, His death was horrible and beyond anything I can even fathom. But I often forget, he endured pain his entire life. It wasn't just one day. It was an entire lifetime. I go through small trials and get down. I get sick for a few months and think my life is ending. I think God doesn't like me because I accidentally get a terrible terrible haircut and get my eyebrow skin waxed off in the same month... But, I mean, really??

God's own perfect Son went through these same things. Well, okay, He probably didn't have to get his eyebrows waxed every single month. But, His trials were much worse, to say the least.

Why in the world should I think that I wouldn't go through any trials if Christ, God's own son, the only perfect being to ever live, suffered more than I can imagine? Like, if I think that little bit of wax ripping off my skin is painful, how much worse would a big leather strip with sharp objects in it ripping off my back skin be? And that wouldn't even be for my benefit (thinner eyebrows). 

So many times, I look at things totally wrong. I know I don't understand what is going on-- what His plan is. He's teaching me to just trust Him. But it's so hard. It's so hard to see the big picture... When I'm focusing on myself, looking at things in the complete wrong light. When, sometimes, I just don't want to get out of bed. When bad things keep happening to me, one after the other. When I know where I need to be, but I don't know how to get there.

Then I realize, the thing wrong with all of my thinking is the I's. It's not about me. It's about Christ and me. He has it all under control. I just have to trust Him. I can't worry about it simply because I can do nothing to help the situation. I want to stay in bed, but Christ can give me something to look forward to each day. Bad things happen to me, but Christ went through much worse and He is there for me to rely on and for me to talk to about it. I know where I need to be, and Christ will get me there in His perfect timing.

My prayer is that I will be reminded of all of this throughout my week at Recruitment. That I will remember why I'm living. I'm here not for me or my sorority or my reputation, but for Him and His glory. And the awesome thing about it is, I don't have to do it on my own. He is there holding my hand. And when I go through hard days, I can go curl up in His lap because He, of all people, well, maybe people isn't the best word there, but He does understand.