Monday, March 1, 2010

Dear Jake...

Dear Jake,

Let's just start out by saying how much I admire your choice in women. I am glad that you were wise enough to go against everything that others were telling you in your decision process.

There were red flags. BRIGHT RED FLAGS. But those flags, those were only for the typical person, not you Jake.

I want to thank you for few take-aways that I got from watching you and Vienna.

1. Definitely go with the physical attraction over the emotional attraction when choosing a spouse. I always heard the opposite, but that was totally wrong.
2. Thanks to Vienna, I learned that "honesty" is always the best policy, especially when you think a woman is fat or that she is a not-very-nice-word.
3. People who don't get along with the same sex are people who you should want to spend the rest of your life with. I would love to marry a guy who doesn't get along with other people. That makes life more exciting! Cat fights, fist fights, tons of drama--that's what I want in a marriage. I mean, you never know, with a spouse like this, I could think we're going out for a quiet dinner, but end up actually witnessing a full-out fight as a result of "just being honest" about the weight of the waitress. How exciting!

Thanks for the relationship help, friend! I'm going to take it to heart!

Love, Melissa

Okay, on a less sarcastic note, Tenley, I'm actually glad you two aren't together. The only reason I wanted you to win was so that you'd beat Vienna. But really, I've seen plenty of men who would be a better fit for you. Plenty.